Perhaps it's me but I found your story very difficult. If I fail the test I won't be surprised. I think you have a foundation of very powerful material, but you are covering too much territory and saying instead of showing.

Title Reviewed: A Personal Tidbit about Me for You to Chew On
Reviewed by: wheelema

Thank you for sharing and bear in mind this is only one man's opinion. So here's my feedback. The good news is that I think there's a real idea here, a solid commercial concept in the idea of an artist who paints things that then come true.

Title Reviewed: Serenity Painted Death
Reviewed by: Joshua James

I've reviewed quite a few scripts here at TS, but Ward A was my first real genre piece, and I was very excited to read it. I really like horror films, even though I find 90% of them to be pretty crappy. Ward A has the potential to be one of the good ones, but I have to say, I think it needs some work.

Title Reviewed: Ward A
Reviewed by: maestro976

What to say about this? It's as if the writers of South Park and Team America met with the writers of League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, gave it a dash of Hedwig and the Angry Inch and Avenue Q, and then threw in some good old fashioned spam subject lines to top it all off. Believe it or not, I rather enjoyed this entry, despite not being able to give it a Recommend.

Title Reviewed: Jekyll & Hyde: The Secret of the Serum
Reviewed by: f8xmulder

Actually it's kind of creepy how similar our two scripts are. It's all good though. You have to believe that there will be fifty other writers who tackle penis enlargement as a topic and use mans insecurity and desire for "more" as a theme.

Title Reviewed: More Than Adequate
Reviewed by: Jordan Thomas

This is a fun screenplay, with enjoyable action and banter and situations, although it's not as complex a story as would be enjoyable--even in a summer blockbuster actionfest type of film. The tone varies between deadly serious and campy, which isn't as consistent as would be ideal. My biggest problem is the lack of driving conflict to ratchet up our interest.

Title Reviewed: The Reaper's Call (ver. 5)
Reviewed by: Underlings

I'm a big fan of cyberpunk, so I looked forward to reading this script. The story isn't bad, but the writing still needs work and a lot of this feels like retread of existing stories without bringing something new to the table. The opening descriptions give a promising start.

Title Reviewed: FREE-LANCE-MAGNUM (8.6.08)
Reviewed by: Underlings

Your song is sad as a whip-poor-will. But it will avail you naught, For by evil you are caught! Camiile's wonderful husband dies and her grief is never-ending.

Title Reviewed: The Testament
Reviewed by: SilvahDragon

This script was all over the place. It was hard to focus on what was really going on because there were so many different elements to juggle and it really seemed like you threw too much in there and needed to slow down and just simplify the story. You obviously were very excited about getting it all down but this will take a major rewrite to make sense and to be an easier read.

Title Reviewed: Team Skullforce
Reviewed by: michaelcreiss

This was good, from start to finish. The flashbacks were well done and showed good timing sense. This is a refreshing angle of modern day crime where drugs are not center stage.

Title Reviewed: Four of a Kind
Reviewed by: jmare

The title doesn’t work for me. It sounds like a movie for 13 year old boys and it definitely isn’t that. I have only read a dozen or so screenplays on TS but this by far the best one, title aside. At first I was afraid I was reading a Terminator copycat but you actually pulled it off rather well.

Title Reviewed: Team Skullforce
Reviewed by: hoosier2369

Now I must start with a confession. I do not like stories of this genre or go to see these kinds of movies, and if my kids have to see them then i very reluctantly go. So when I received this as an assignment my instinct was to push the button and request another one, but i said no, See how you can review a story of a genre you don't like.

Title Reviewed: Games of Immortal Men
Reviewed by: WildIrishRose

You have some really nice visuals working in this script. I must first state that I don't really like tales that deal with the underworld and especially with ones where the hero or heroine has to battle it out with demons in hell, etc. So going in, I wasn't expecting too much and after reading it, I must state that although I didn't like this as a whole, I liked bits and pieces of it to a point that I think you can tighten this up a bit and make it work, especially for fans of this kind of movie. You at least held my interest for the most part and I did want to finish it to see if Janet finds the sphere.

Title Reviewed: Blind Faith
Reviewed by: jayelveejr

It's rare that you find a script on TS that's so obviously designed for the selling market. Don't take that as a slam, it's not. What I mean to say is that you're obviously aiming at a specific market and audience and I applaud that.

Title Reviewed: Amazing Gracie
Reviewed by: Jeremy

I'm going to start from end to beginning on this, since the end is still rather fresh in my mind. In page 110, at the end of the scene, you had what looked like Susan and Jack getting back together. However in the following scene, you have Jack getting together with Michelle.

Title Reviewed: More Than Adequate
Reviewed by: Janifer

The idea, in my opinion, was too grand and not developed enough. But, the story was an original idea and a pretty damn cool story I might add! I enjoyed the characters and their dialogue, although I have never been one for street-slang-type phrases like "...keep his prick in his pants..." butit did suit the story and the character playing/saying it.

Title Reviewed: Mercenary
Reviewed by: hollinger1969

Donny in the Maize is a quick revenge tale. As the author notes, this is an introduction to the character who is part of a larger story. Donny wakes trussed up in a cornfield in a bit of a predicament.

Title Reviewed: Donny in the Maize
Reviewed by: krtshadow

This should have been called "Disposable Chicks" or "See No Evil, Hear No Evil ... Do Evil." The story was simplistic and let the art do most of the heay lifting - which is probably as it should be with horror which is a visually disturbing genre.

Title Reviewed: Necro
Reviewed by: bobheske

a couple details first: the margins need to be fixed. this story would be even shorter than its 9 pages with proper margins--and it reads superfast

Title Reviewed: The demon and I
Reviewed by: robertegblack

Overall I thought was good. ther are definately tensions between the characters, and each one has their own personal journey. There are a few things I noted, however:

Title Reviewed: A Feast For Blind Cannibals
Reviewed by: ilovecress